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Monday, October 04, 2004

I Was Deceived By Pantsuits

Back where I'm from, we don't use the word "pantsuit." Until today, I neglected the word "pantsuit" to such an extent that when I actually did consider the word, I would assign it comic properties antipodal to the drear realities of my sit-around life. For example, if someone had said "Doreen Elmore is wearing a gorgeous pantsuit today," I would have thought "Oh My Holy Jesus, let me put down this heavy box so that I can fly to that HILARIOUS PANTSUIT!" But today I Googled "pantsuit," and what I found was troubling. No, much worse! It was hideous! Pantsuits aren't funny at all! I almost cried out in pain. The word "pantsuit" will never again bring me lazy satisfaction. Stupid pantsuits, NOT FUNNY AT ALL! If I ever wear a pantsuit, I hope somebody pushes me down a well.

And to those of you thinking "I would like to push her down a well anyway," please note: You cannot hurt me. I have been dead inside ever since the public breakdancing accident.


Blogger Chris Cope said...

Oh. I remember the breakdancing accident. Wow. I think I need to sit down with a nice cup of Constant Comment and wash that picture from my mind. Perhaps I will replace it with preganant Asian teenager porn. Or perhaps Soupy Sales.

11:10 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

You know, "Me," I think this post could have gone a little smoother. I think you're too tired for this right now. I think it's time for bed. No sass-mouth! Just GO.

11:12 PM  

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