Keep This Offer In Mind
If plague ever ravages America and does away 80% of the human population, I want you all to know that I intend to live through the disaster and appropriate the Winchester Mystery House. I have dibs. I don’t know why, I just know that I want that house. I think that Sarah Winchester would like me to finish her work. If you also live through the coming plague, feel free to write to me at the House – or, if everyone at the USPS is dead, just stop by. You can get the address online. I might be able to help you out in some way. Maybe I will provide you with a sumptuous dinner or a clean pair of plus fours. I will also need help fending off squatters, so if you’re not afraid of a little hard work, come on over – I'll pay a living wage and I'll match a portion of your 401(k) contribution. Carpentry skills a plus.
2 Comments:
We likely won't be able to find the address online, as the plague will likely kill off all or most of the people who man the Internet pumps.
In that case, Chris, I suggest that you take down the address now. You can tuck it away in that biscuit tin where you keep your birth certificate and Subway Sandwich Club cards.
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