Shopping

I noticed that there is a Successories store in the Mall of America now. I am thinking of buying the poster that says “Productivity: Why don’t we all die right now and leave our corpses for the janitor?” It depicts a seagull pooping on a young girl’s open-faced roast beef sandwich at a shore picnic. The girl is seated at a picnic table, smiling and watching a beautiful nerd do his Statistics homework at the other end of the table. She harbors a secret crush on this fellow. She doesn’t see the seagull poop dropping into her sandwich yet. But we see it. We know what happens when you have a crush on a nerd at a shore picnic. Oh, the horror.