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Sunday, March 20, 2005

Not Very Agreeable, Having a Felon in the Water Supply

I have another escaped convict stuck in my well. This afternoon he was making such a racket that I stomped out there, pulled the well cover off and threw a pebble in. "Ouch! Hey! Can you hear me?" he shouted. "Can't hear a thing!" I shouted back. He coughed a bit, and shouted "I'm stuck in this well, can you lower me a sandwich?" Just then I noticed a spider on my arm, so I shrieked and dropped the well cover. I brushed the spider off and rushed indoors to have a shower. I swear I could hear that outlaw bellowing the whole time - I could scarcely appreciate my aromatherapy bath gel with all the bitching and griping coming through the pipes. Right. He can march himself straight out of that well and fix his own sandwich, the lazy lummox. Marry me once, shame on you - fix you sandwiches when you break out of jail twice, shame on me.

5 Comments:

Blogger gatsby said...

packard you're actually just a computer aren't you?
this blog is just a geek experiment in a lab somewhere;
"packard version 2.3 has gotten lose on the web again..."
i'm like stupid ally sheedy in short circuit.
fantastic.

10:14 PM  
Blogger MistahCharley said...

Ms. Wilberforce-Packard:

MSM, the acronym for Mainstream Media, is now an obsolete term. In the interests of denotative and connotative accuracy, one says

CORPORATE MEDIA


Thank you for your attention to this matter.


Yours in struggle,
mistah charley, ph.d.

6:56 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

I think that MSM note was for me. No wonder the Global Media Conspiracy (it's proper name, thank you) ignores bloggers. They can't direct your queries to the correct individual.

10:50 AM  
Blogger noisy ghost said...

What kind of sandwich was he begging for? I had a delicious pb&j for lunch. I didn't save any for him, of course, but I thought he might want to know that I'm doing well.

2:09 PM  
Blogger jexter said...

Not to pick nits, but I believe the saying actually goes:
"Marry me once, shame on you - fix you sandwiches when you break out of jail twice, you...you...ah...you won't get shamed again!."

8:35 PM  

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