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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Word Problem, 12 points

Today I baked twelve pies. I put two pies on a westbound train headed north at 5 knots; I put the remaining ten pies (blueberry, all of them) on a eastbound train headed south at 120 mph. Both trains began their journey in the same town. What time did the trains collide underwater, and how many hobos shat out their tapeworms due to my use of Mom's Blueberry Baking Sauce (currently found in the cleaner aisle under the misleading moniker "Lysol Disinfectant All-Purpose Cleaner in Island Breeze")? In which city did the trains collide, and what flavor were the two pies in the first train? Finally, what must man do to win the trust of an angry god? No calculators - show your work.


Blogger Rob Miles said...

I'm not going to answer as I think it might be a trick question. Although I've no idea where you've hidden the rabbit. And as for showing my work, I've managed to hold down a job for 25 years without doing that, and I don't intend to start now.

6:53 AM  
Blogger gatsby said...

i sent you an email recently, asking what it was that you had wanted on february whatever, and have as yet received no response. what gives?
i was rereading your posts the other day, studying up for the big topic drift quiz i give myself every friday, when i came across the entry in which you ask everyone to guess at what it was that you wanted. (i believe i guessed snakes at the time, but i'm sure that's wrong now)
let me just say, that i for one am finding it harder and harder to feign an interest in this stalking thing.
also, i had someone ask if i was you. i told them i was and took full credit for your genius HA! right now i'm speaking to your agent about a book deal.

3:15 PM  
Blogger David said...

I'm not real smart lke the other commenters around here. I'll come back last week sometime and explain about that if IIRC. (Maybe DSM-IV, 290.10 would do). So all I can say is I'd really like to see you perform your posts in drag, sir.

When can I catch your act live last year in front of Lileks' place?

11:09 PM  

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