Those Perilous Saturday Naps

Just woke from a nightmare involving a dowager who could unhinge her jaw and uproot radiators with her teeth. She was too humped and feeble to lift the radiators and heave them at me properly, but she tried - oh, how she tried. She hounded me through an endless manse, plucking radiators from the flooring with her enormous mandibles of death, and I'd bolt onward to safety - room after room she flew after me in terrifying pursuit. When I was certain she'd lost my trail, I'd relax. There I'd be, reading the evening paper and drinking a cup of tea by the hearth, safe in a room with no radiators, when she'd howl into my chamber and we'd be off again. When I finally woke from this dream, I shuffled into the pantry for a bit of something - and there she was, eating my chocolate biscuits with her grisly unhinged jaw! I saw my chance, so I clobbered her with a frozen ham.

Just waiting for the police to blow in now.