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Saturday, March 19, 2005

Those Perilous Saturday Naps

Just woke from a nightmare involving a dowager who could unhinge her jaw and uproot radiators with her teeth. She was too humped and feeble to lift the radiators and heave them at me properly, but she tried - oh, how she tried. She hounded me through an endless manse, plucking radiators from the flooring with her enormous mandibles of death, and I'd bolt onward to safety - room after room she flew after me in terrifying pursuit. When I was certain she'd lost my trail, I'd relax. There I'd be, reading the evening paper and drinking a cup of tea by the hearth, safe in a room with no radiators, when she'd howl into my chamber and we'd be off again. When I finally woke from this dream, I shuffled into the pantry for a bit of something - and there she was, eating my chocolate biscuits with her grisly unhinged jaw! I saw my chance, so I clobbered her with a frozen ham.

Just waiting for the police to blow in now.


Blogger gatsby said...

comment comment.
summertime soon packard, what are your plans?
big game fishing off san juan?
photographing pigs at the state fair?
marrying your therapist?
building the helicopter you ordered from the back of popular mechanics?
concocting a new flavor of slushie?
rushing off to join the first revolution google lists?
because if any of these things are in your plans we could split them up and save some time-- or we could combine them and drop raspberry/plantain covered pigs from your therapist husband driven helicopter onto unsuspecting marlin fishing redcoats.
either way.
i'll be at bob's sketching gutter punks and their affectation pitbulls if you come up with an answer.

5:05 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

I have no concrete plans, but I may sit in the basement with a box of pinot grigio and pour over my high school yearbook. After all, I am by far the most successful graduate in my class, and my beauty has yet to fade. Plus, Fat Old Molly keeps the jars of pickles down there, and I like to smash them on the floor when I get "overwhelmed."

10:16 PM  
Blogger Micah said...

And what, pray tell, will pouring pinot grigio over your high school yearbook accomplish?

In other news, I see that I have made your very exclusive blogroll. I may just pour some pinot grigio myself to celebrate.

3:44 PM  

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