Enough With the Lake Rubbish
I've noticed a lot of loose weeds and brown foam and Little Debbie wrappers washing onto the shore at the lake. What an intolerable mess! Whose turn is it to tidy the lake? If it were my lake, I'd be out there raking that nonsense up. "Look at that gorgeous nutter raking her lake," amused passersby would shout. I'd smile and wave at them, of course, but after they'd traipsed by I'd follow them with great stealth - then out of nowhere I'd kick in the back of their knees. Then I'd throw a tarp over their heads and continue to kick the living bejesus out of them as they writhe in agony and rue. "Look at the gorgeous nutter raking her lake!" I'd shout, and kick and kick and kick. Then I'd kick some more. If anybody tries to pull me away from the tarp I'll thrash at them and shriek "THEY TOOK MY BABY!! THEY TOOK MY BABY!!"
Somebody better start cleaning up that lake before I get angry.
Somebody better start cleaning up that lake before I get angry.
8 Comments:
Look at that gorgeous nutter beating the shit out of a tarp.
Kick ass, Sea Bass! I'm still laughing, picturing this tarp ass-beating.
According to the Little Debbie website, those buggers have cranked out some 133 billion Little Debbies since 1960. If I had that many wrappers to clean up from the shores of some lousy lake, I don't think I'd cotton too kindly to unsolicited comments from amused passerby, either.
Oh, Esther, such passion! I'll be back to read more.......
That's it! That's it! I KNEW you were a gorgeous nutter, I just couldn't put my finger on it. Thanks for clearing that up, Miss Esther.
You do have toe-caps, just in case somebody passes by, don't you?
Perhaps you might consider investing in one of my newly invented Loch Ness AquaVacuum Cleaners. I can especially recommend the "Monster" model which sucks up everything around it, including hecklers. Only $4000 icl. P&P. No refunds. COD accepted. Visa, MC, AE and all the other ones too. Call today, etc.
Thrashing is integral to the Method. Don't question the Method! The Method is sound!
I think the baby angle could work, BUT... then you'll have all the angry ex wives show up at the lake to stop you, because um,
(there might be a few errant ex husbands sort of "laying around" under the water and uh...)
well, I'm just saying...
Post a Comment
<< Home