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Sunday, January 22, 2006

It's Not a Stick

Just the other day a guy walked up to me and told me that my shoes were untied. “Good one,” I said as I turned away, “But I’m not wearing any shoes.” But the guy wouldn’t give up. He told me that I definitely had shoes on. Pfff! How could he know? I was wearing my Rabbit Thunder ice hockey mascot uniform! He said he had the feeling that, inside my rabbit uniform, my shoes were untied. So I stepped back and clobbered him with my carrot.

Later during my routine I noticed an enormous woman hollering and gesturing in the stands. I knew something was up, because Rabbit Thunder fans always sit quietly or read the paper during my routine. When I moved closer to the stands, I lifted my earflap and listened. She was all “WHY DID YOU HIT MY SON WITH YOUR HOCKEY STICK?! HE WAS TRYING TO ASK YOU FOR A DATE, YOU STUPID RABBIT! WHY DID YOU HIT MY SON WITH YOUR HOCKEY STICK?! STUPID RABBIT!”

Well, I never. “IT’S NOT A STICK, IT’S A CARROT,” I shouted in reply. I held my hockey carrot aloft and pointed to it with my other mitten. “I HIT HIM WITH MY CARROT.”


Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

"Your shoes are untied."

Wow! Great pickup line. We all felt sure you would fall for it.

Do all the hockey rinks have singles bars, or just yours?

11:58 AM  
Anonymous Paul said...

I refuse to believe your sole vice is booze.

12:30 AM  
Blogger kyla said...

You're an amazing writer. I suppose you know this, but in case you don't, let me let you know: you're an amazing writer.

"I hit him with my carrot" indeed.

1:29 PM  

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