It's Not a Stick

Just the other day a guy walked up to me and told me that my shoes were untied. “Good one,” I said as I turned away, “But I’m not wearing any shoes.” But the guy wouldn’t give up. He told me that I definitely had shoes on. Pfff! How could he know? I was wearing my Rabbit Thunder ice hockey mascot uniform! He said he had the feeling that, inside my rabbit uniform, my shoes were untied. So I stepped back and clobbered him with my carrot.

Later during my routine I noticed an enormous woman hollering and gesturing in the stands. I knew something was up, because Rabbit Thunder fans always sit quietly or read the paper during my routine. When I moved closer to the stands, I lifted my earflap and listened. She was all “WHY DID YOU HIT MY SON WITH YOUR HOCKEY STICK?! HE WAS TRYING TO ASK YOU FOR A DATE, YOU STUPID RABBIT! WHY DID YOU HIT MY SON WITH YOUR HOCKEY STICK?! STUPID RABBIT!”

Well, I never. “IT’S NOT A STICK, IT’S A CARROT,” I shouted in reply. I held my hockey carrot aloft and pointed to it with my other mitten. “I HIT HIM WITH MY CARROT.”