The Whole Place was Liable to Go Up in Flames

First I felt a strange sensation in my left ear, but I attributed the feeling to the fanatic wind that whistled down the lane and extinguished my last piece of coal. Then I felt a strange sensation in my sinuses, but I attributed the feeling to the damp that invades my garret. Did I think I was getting a cold? No, I did not think I was getting a cold. I did not think at all. Perhaps that is where I went wrong. Or perhaps I should have sold my timeshare in October, like the man said. At any rate, my affliction will not cut into my Olympics-watching time, because I hadn't planned on watching the Olympics.

The cold-medicine box said I should be feeling groggy by now, but I'm fine. If anyone wonders why I just drove the neighbor's Honda into the compost bins, they should keep in mind that the keys were left in the ignition, and that the bins were never meant to sit so close to the house anyway. The heat generated in those bins is tremendous; the whole place was liable to go up in flames.

Tonight, I saved lives. Tomorrow, I will rest.