I was just sitting at my desk when Bee brought me an apple. It was cut into pieces. But I already had an apple today! I can’t eat two, and now I have this redundant, fragmented apple that won’t keep because its innards are exposed to the elements. I don’t know what to do about it. This reminds me of the time I was invited to a lunch picnic after I’d already eaten lunch; I attended the picnic anyway and ate a second lunch. When I returned home, I discovered that I’d also been invited to an impromptu afternoon pool party – but because I WAS TOO BUSY EATING A SUPERFLUOUS LUNCH, I missed a perfect opportunity to float face-up in a pool. It also reminds me of the time young Napoleon Bonaparte was building a diorama for his literature class and he wanted to portray the scene from King Lear where Ophelia drowns, but his friend Luc told him that that’s a girls scene, so Napoleon scraped the whole project and built a miniature bullet train diorama. He got an F because nobody had written a novel about bullet trains yet.