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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Superfluous Lunch

I was just sitting at my desk when Bee brought me an apple. It was cut into pieces. But I already had an apple today! I can’t eat two, and now I have this redundant, fragmented apple that won’t keep because its innards are exposed to the elements. I don’t know what to do about it. This reminds me of the time I was invited to a lunch picnic after I’d already eaten lunch; I attended the picnic anyway and ate a second lunch. When I returned home, I discovered that I’d also been invited to an impromptu afternoon pool party – but because I WAS TOO BUSY EATING A SUPERFLUOUS LUNCH, I missed a perfect opportunity to float face-up in a pool. It also reminds me of the time young Napoleon Bonaparte was building a diorama for his literature class and he wanted to portray the scene from King Lear where Ophelia drowns, but his friend Luc told him that that’s a girls scene, so Napoleon scraped the whole project and built a miniature bullet train diorama. He got an F because nobody had written a novel about bullet trains yet.

6 Comments:

Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Just one more lunch and you could have floated face down.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Three lunches never killed anybody. Go back to Russia.

3:37 PM  
Anonymous vicki said...

Too bad you missed this: http://www.ncs-tech.org/?p=130

The apple problem could have been solved. Hoss and I celebrated.

7:59 PM  
Blogger Erika said...

Ophelia drowned in Hamlet. So, I guess Napoleon would've gotten an F anyway since he got the plays confused.

5:00 PM  
Blogger Lucy said...

No, Ophelia drowned in WATER. You pedants and your screwy comments.

3:13 PM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

How would a person even drown in another person? That doesn't even make sense.

That diorama was Napolean's grade-school Waterloo.

3:17 PM  

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