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Thursday, September 30, 2004

The Most Important Meal of the Day

When I read the 2 Blowhards bit about women running their mouths over breakfast, I said to myself, "How can I be more like that? When will I learn to gab?" Morning gab is not my style. Sneaky insinuation and rabid insistence - that is my breakfast style. Accusation, bewilderment and a little soft shoe - that's my breakfast style. Sometimes the soft shoe gets out of hand and I spill milky oatmeal on my bustle. That can't be helped. Sometimes I trash the entire kitchen with my breakfast vaudeville. That makes Fat Old Molly furious! How she loathes scrubbing vertical surfaces.

Of course, I'm not always so chirpy. Some mornings I scowl and have terrific soap-hurling fits. I probably look like Bay Buchanan on these mornings. In fact, Fat Old Molly designed the following breakfast alco-drink in my "honor." I didn't hear about this magical drink from her. I know the recipe because I listen at doors.

Manic Buchanan Sunrise
1 part rum
1 part kahlua
4 parts coffee
1 part squinty spleen
rainbow sugar sprinkles


Blogger Chris Cope said...

Is squinty spleen something I can pick up at Whole Foods?

7:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

breakfast should be a silent meal, except for the scrape of toasted bread on metal and those mysterious noises that are triggered from deep within the human internal combustion unit after the addition of buttered fuel. Surely we can learn to communicate using these expressive sounds?


8:48 AM  

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