A Better Today

The only thing that would make today better is if a horse clomped into the office, and then I got on to the horse and rode over to Starbucks to buy a gigantic coffee. Then I’d notice that my horse had wings, so we’d fly somewhere, but not very far, because the horse would have to be home between the hours of 2 and 5 in order to have cable installed in his stables. I would probably spill coffee on the winged horse, but the winged horse would just say, “No sweat, that happens all the time. I don’t care.” Then the winged horse would drop me off at home, where I would sit down and worry that I was in trouble because I left work early without a good excuse. Then I would try to think up some practice excuses. Then I would decide to offer no excuse, and if anyone were to ask where I went, I would just tell them that I have a severe peanut allergy. And if they were to say, “You DO? But you eat a peanut butter sandwich for lunch every day,” I would simply reply, “I think it’s time for you to shut up.”