Show Your Face, Harriet!

Dear Harriet,

That boy of yours is going to kill us all. He was over here Wednesday with his Easy-Bake Oven, and he was trying to bake Harry's tools. He baked a few Duracells. I'd check out that oven before you let him bake any cakes.

Harry got his bonus early this year, and we're remodeling the tiki bar. He seems to think it's not authentic enough. This coming from a man who's never left the midwest. They even kept him here when he was in the service. Probably because of his big feet.

We're getting a new barbecue grill, too. Harry wants me to learn how to use it. Forget about it, I told him. I cook enough food in the house. Yeah, but there are fewer flies outside, he said. All I get from him is crap and I don't even have to squeeze his head.

Hope the twins aren't killing you. Janice assured me that they were. She said you had your hands full. Likely story, I told her. You're so lazy, you probably have the twins washing dishes and making the beds! Am I right?

Koffee Klatch next Wednesday. Doreen said it's your turn for the bars. Make her those ultra peanut butter bars. Her ass is too small, ha ha!

My best to you and the family.

Esther