Where Have You Been, Claude?

I've been watching the street from the Dunkin Donuts window, and you never approach this place anymore! You don't even drive by anymore! Did you get poisoned by your wife? Wives can be so mean! Why do you think she wants you gone? Is it because you can't hold a job, or is it because you wear English Leather cologne? Because that stuff smells terrible! I gave you that bottle in 1979, brother! It's turned! Did you drink it? You should drink it and put us all out of our misery! Stop by and I'll give you a styro of coffee on the house!