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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

A Sorry Welcome Home

Devastation. Just returned from my seaside holiday to find my moth collection ravaged by squirrels. What’s more, I’m not even sure it was squirrels; it may have been field mice, or a wayward vole. This reminds me of the time I brought my moth collection over to Violet’s house when she was ill with the croup. “This will cheer her up,” I thought. Wrong - she took one peek and suffered a series of acute seizures. How was I to know of her winged-thing phobia? Fortunately, Violet is a family friend and not a friend of my own making. I would feel horrible about it all had I met her in school, or at the park. As it stands, our friendship is an ancestral accident, like red hair or strange earlobes, and I really can’t be bothered.


Blogger Shane said...

You again? You whorey bl***er. Squirrels, field mice, voles, I think not. Pigeons!... Encouraged by none other than Violet - now laughing at you, in her phobic-freed state. The bitch. Hit back, I say, hit back hard.

Hope your holiday was a good one.

4:56 PM  
Blogger Ivan the Terrible said...

Has it occured to you that Violet might well be responsible for this outrageous ravaging, Esther? Vengeance is the most likely motive, after all, and your obsessive (and embarrassingly public) love of your moth collection would indeed make it the obvious target for all those who wish you ill.

I regard the fact that she grew a big squirrelly tail as a result of her seizures as particularly damning. Enough talk, I say! We have for too long borne her unjust upbraidings and bitter scorn. Let us form an angry mob forthwith, and hurl burning torches at her miserable hovel until she roasts amongst her hoarded nuts and moth bits.

Mmmmmm - roasted nuts...

6:10 PM  
Anonymous Jimmy said...

Angrily have I waved my new stick at this insolent box of light. More words! Alas, relief is sweet. I rest now.

7:24 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Are you well sure that you don't have some butterflies mixed in with your moth flies? Check carefully, for if you do find lepidoptera, that would explain everything (as if anything needed explaining).

3:48 PM  

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