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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Wednesday, Again

The idiot Flavian just blew in from Haiti, filthy and light of purse. He claimed that a local woman in a bear costume tried to bludgeon him with with a jar of apricot jam. It was probably only a hurricane, but who am I to question one man’s love of truth? Everyone knows there are no fruit spreads in Haiti.

Naturally I expect our mumblety-peg warfare to resume tout de suite or whenever he's done watching the Flintstones, whichever comes first.


Blogger Chris Cope said...

Hurricane indeed. Everyone knows those things are a lie created by the Zionist global media conspiracy.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

What do you mean, "everyone knows"?!? When I told the lady at the DMV about this conspiracy, she swore she'd keep it under her hat. I now trust nobody and everyone is dead it me.

11:55 AM  
Blogger Ivan the Terrible said...

You told a woman in the DMV??? You fool! Don't you know they're in on it? I don't know you, crazy lady - you stay away from me. Take her, not me - you hear?

An unlikely story in every respect from Flavian. "Light in the purse, light in the loafers", as the saying goes. The idea of a Haitienne having anything to do with such a creature is laughable. Haitian women are very discriminating, and only hurl jam at those with whom they intend to mate, as is the time-honoured tradition of that benighted isle. The culturally sensitive response is to send him back with a pork chop tied around his neck to make an honest bear of her...

10:32 PM  
Anonymous quiggs said...

He may have fallen victim to the dark arts (which still infest that benighted isle). To check, casually and innocently expose him to pincushions, dead chickens, skulls, and suchlike, and closely observe his reactions. You may wish first to ensure that your own crucifix is fully charged -- just leave it plugged in overnight.

12:21 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

How can this have a Sept. 17 date on it when you haven't posted for a month? (We weevils keeping track of your life and times.)

5:34 PM  
Anonymous Chris Anton said...

An unlikely story in every respect from Flavian YES.

5:34 PM  

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