The current financial crisis reminds me of the time at camp when I was pulled from my bed at two in the morning and forced to search for owls. The counselors issued each camper a bit of red paper meant to be wrapped around the head of one’s flashlight, for science teaches us that light shot through red paper does not scare owls. We were to observe owls, not scare them; science teaches us that observing animals teaches us about science. At any rate, I didn’t find any owls. I also didn’t find any unopened bags of Doritos lying about, which is probably what I was really looking for.