Science
The current financial crisis reminds me of the time at camp when I was pulled from my bed at two in the morning and forced to search for owls. The counselors issued each camper a bit of red paper meant to be wrapped around the head of one’s flashlight, for science teaches us that light shot through red paper does not scare owls. We were to observe owls, not scare them; science teaches us that observing animals teaches us about science. At any rate, I didn’t find any owls. I also didn’t find any unopened bags of Doritos lying about, which is probably what I was really looking for.
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The son of a part-time naturalist, I was frequently dragged on those owl-spotting expeditions. With my mother shout-whispering: "Look, there's one up there."
"Where?"
"There"
"Where's 'there'?"
"There in the tree."
"We're in a forest, mom. We're surrounded by trees."
"Well, it's gone now, anyway."
Of course there were no unopened bags of Doritos lying about, Esther. That's how you know there were owls around. Doritos and owls are natural enemies in the wild, ever since one of those cheesy triangular fiends choked the orthographically-challenged specimen from the Hundred Acre Wood. Wise, my foot! He was a total retard, if you ask me.
Now there's a feud that I fear shall outlast the ages...
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