Losing It
I'm concerned about my indiscriminate comma use. Once upon a time I was convinced that I could quit whenever I wanted to, but now I'm not sure. You can't see me, reader? but I am in despair? the tears are coursing down my cheeks and I cannot keep from shaking. Demon commas, will I ever learn?
Also, pre-soiled cowboy felt hats. Available upon request: Imitation blood initials on brim. First two initials are free - each additional letter $2. Fools! Do not pay for imitation brim blood! I will bloody your brim for free! First, you must fight me.
Update: Just saw Martin Amis ride by on a bicycle.
Update Update: Was it really Martin Amis? Now I have a problem with question marks? Oh crap?
Also, pre-soiled cowboy felt hats. Available upon request: Imitation blood initials on brim. First two initials are free - each additional letter $2. Fools! Do not pay for imitation brim blood! I will bloody your brim for free! First, you must fight me.
Update: Just saw Martin Amis ride by on a bicycle.
Update Update: Was it really Martin Amis? Now I have a problem with question marks? Oh crap?
6 Comments:
Indiscriminate comma usage will get you sent straight to hell, Esther. I know this because I was sent there recently (and lived to tell about it) over my use of indiscriminate dots and dashes. Hey, whatever turns you on, huh?
Nope, not Martin Amis. It was Judge Crater in disguise.
(And if I were you, I would begin to worry about the fetish for question marks. People who ask a lot of questions sometimes are considered fools for not having any answers. Surely you must have SOME answers.)
I say go ahead and abuse the comma. It's been my observation as of late that the over indulgence of parenthesis (or brackets) is more of a problem in the blogging world (...and nothing bugs me more).
So. No wonder you never read my blog!
I failed English twice and it was all due to comma splices. I still can't identify comma splices, and now I am employed as a copy editor. Woe to the English language. Woe!
I don't think it was Martin Amis. I know him to be unable to ride a bicycle, and I suspect that any knowing bicycle rentalist would not trust him anyway. But, what chance Amis has, in the past week, learned to ride a bike and has fluked upon a naive fool of a bicycle rentalist?
As for over-punctuation: pish!?!?!
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