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Monday, June 06, 2005

Losing It

I'm concerned about my indiscriminate comma use. Once upon a time I was convinced that I could quit whenever I wanted to, but now I'm not sure. You can't see me, reader? but I am in despair? the tears are coursing down my cheeks and I cannot keep from shaking. Demon commas, will I ever learn?

Also, pre-soiled cowboy felt hats. Available upon request: Imitation blood initials on brim. First two initials are free - each additional letter $2. Fools! Do not pay for imitation brim blood! I will bloody your brim for free! First, you must fight me.

Update: Just saw Martin Amis ride by on a bicycle.

Update Update: Was it really Martin Amis? Now I have a problem with question marks? Oh crap?


Blogger kenju said...

Indiscriminate comma usage will get you sent straight to hell, Esther. I know this because I was sent there recently (and lived to tell about it) over my use of indiscriminate dots and dashes. Hey, whatever turns you on, huh?

3:42 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Nope, not Martin Amis. It was Judge Crater in disguise.

(And if I were you, I would begin to worry about the fetish for question marks. People who ask a lot of questions sometimes are considered fools for not having any answers. Surely you must have SOME answers.)

6:46 PM  
Blogger Bleak Mouse said...

You might try using the semi-colon as a sort of halfway house between maniacal comma scattering and punctuational sobriety. The semi-colon, you'll notice, includes the comma, while at the same time transcending it; it further slows things down a bit without bringing them to the screeching halt so gauchely precipitated by the period.

But a question arises: Why is there a punctuation mark consisting of a comma and an elevated period, but none consisting of a period with a comma over it? One would think that this would be a useful, and subtle, innovation. Yet thus far it has been overlooked. Or has it been suppressed?

11:58 PM  
Anonymous Mark said...

I say go ahead and abuse the comma. It's been my observation as of late that the over indulgence of parenthesis (or brackets) is more of a problem in the blogging world (...and nothing bugs me more).

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Les Becker said...

So. No wonder you never read my blog!

8:15 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

I failed English twice and it was all due to comma splices. I still can't identify comma splices, and now I am employed as a copy editor. Woe to the English language. Woe!

12:24 PM  
Blogger Rhein said...

i have a problem with not using capitals, what's that about? <--apparently a question mark problem, too? oops, and now, those blasted commas, sheesh?

12:29 PM  
Blogger Shane said...

I don't think it was Martin Amis. I know him to be unable to ride a bicycle, and I suspect that any knowing bicycle rentalist would not trust him anyway. But, what chance Amis has, in the past week, learned to ride a bike and has fluked upon a naive fool of a bicycle rentalist?

As for over-punctuation: pish!?!?!

4:25 AM  

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