Peril At Every Turn

Listen, the foam is falling off my office chair armrest and the deadly metal within is poking through. Next time I go in for a proper arm lean I may skid off the armrest and shear the flesh from my arm. I don’t like this possibility, but it’s better than drowning in rice porridge or being crushed in the street by enormous Americans trying parkour. Danger indoors, danger outdoors. Can’t even hide out on the roof without being shat on by starlings.