Blog Hiatus Update
Once, when I was worried that someone would find my money, I taped it under the sofa and forgot about it. Later, when I traded that sofa for a new sofa, I forgot to transfer my taped money to the new sofa. When I found the guy who had my money sofa, I told him I forgot my leg medicine in the cushions and could he please let me find my leg medicine. He said sure, so I retrieved my money and got out of there.
But that's not all. I also use the leg medicine story to get free admission to the state fair. Every year I tell the admissions guy that I left my leg medicine at the root beer stand. "I need that medicine to live," I tell him. One year, when the state fair guy got wise and asked me why I take leg medicine, I told him I don't take leg medicine, and then I punched him in the face. Then I sprinted past the other ticket guys and bought myself a scotch egg. The trick is to eat the scotch egg while it's hot - it's no good when it's cold.