New Plan

I just had a fair to middling idea. Instead of mailing my tax papers directly to the IRS, I’ll first mail them to Dairy Queen Corporate Headquarters. The Dairy Queen CFO will note the error and instruct her secretary to return my papers along with several certificates for free Dilly Bars. As I have no use for these certificates, I will forward them to the IRS along with my returned tax papers. The IRS will be flattered by my casual largesse and will dispatch a inordinately large check my way. Do you see the beauty in my scheme? The cycle of life, the perfect circle? One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh, and so forth? The sun also riseth, et cetera? At any rate, if this scheme doesn't pan out, I'm moving to Florida to get work on Days of Our Lives.

Milestone: Do You See This, O God?

I just tried to switch this ancient, weak Blogger blog to the Mega Extreme New Beta Blogger with Added Calcium for Stong Bones and Teeth. I was unsuccessful. Hmmm. So this is what it feels like to fail. What a strange... sensation. As you may know, I've never failed anything before. Don't quite know what to do with myself now. How does one live? Or as Edward Kennedy once asked, "How can people have hope when we tell them that they have no recourse if they run afoul of the New Blogger?" And more importantly, how can I come down from this ghastly sugar high? Just finished a package of gummi fish and I can't feel my feet.